1st Fetter
The Identifying Curriculum

Identifying vs. Non-Self

The First Fetter is about the delusion which makes us see ourselves as a separate self. 

It is about discovering that everything you tell yourself, about yourself, about the world, about everything you identify with, about everything you like and don’t like, are just stories. 

They are not real. 

If you look into these stories, you will quickly discover that they are only thoughts.

On top of that, the idea of the individual person who has created these stories and made them feel real, is just another collection of thought. 

The thoughts are obviously thoughts, but what we often overlook is that the thinker who is supposedly thinking the thoughts, is also nothing more than another thought! 

This one is just a thought referring to other thoughts in a way that gives it the illusion of veracity, and a sort of meta sense of being one step above the other thoughts, but this isn’t true either.

Within all those stories we have created a sense of “I”. And this “I” sees “me” as a separate Self. A Self that is in constant competition or constant comparison with everyone and everything it comes in contact with, real or imaginary.

The differentiation between “I” and “you,” and “us” and “them,” is just another fabrication of the mind.  

As you see, it is a huge topic! 

It is the maintaining of a view of ourselves as Separate and unique, which is the reason we can treat other living beings disrespectfully and cruelly. 

We create bubbles of reality with our idea of “me” fixed in the center. We then create a concept of connectedness with other beings and objects that varies, based on arbitrary ideas of physical and emotional distance.

So we tend to feel the most love, compassion, and care for people who we are related to, or are deeply nestled in our in-group. We gradually lessen that feeling of connection to friends, acquaintances, strangers, and then people in foreign lands who are just concepts and not real tangible beings.

And the same goes for the animals in our lives.

Being deluded, we care for our pets, but gladly spend weekends in hunting cabins, shooting at other animals, and dragging fish out of the water by piercing hooks. We even use our beloved dogs to go retrieve the carcasses of the similar animals who we’ve just shot.

And if we discover a mouse or colony of ants living in our homes, we either kill them, or hire someone else to kill them, with no deeper reflection upon it.

Please note that we are not saying that one thing is right, and another thing is wrong. But there is a cognitive dissonance and lack of awareness in our behavior which is very telling.

If you now have a sensation in the body that seems to be referring to someone who has done, or could do, anything right or wrong, then become aware of the belief connected with that sensation.

That sense of being uncomfortable with reading this is a great example of identification. 

The First Fetter inquiries work to see through the delusion of that identification. 

What Am I?

So let’s start at the beginning.

Feel into reality. By “reality” we mean whatever is appearing in your sense fields without any labels about the things seen, heard, felt, smelled, or tasted being attached to them. Ordinarily we are experiencing the raw input of a scene for only milliseconds before the objects are classified, labelled, and reduced from being the real thing, to just a name and concept which is virtually interchangeable with every other similar thing that bears the same label.

Breathe deeply.

If you reflect a bit, you will notice that it might feel like there is a distance between “me” and “them”. 

There is almost an invisible divider creating a sense of distance, and a barrier between the two.  

The Separate Self is the personal “I” that we identify ourselves with. And yet no matter how intently you look, you can’t find that “I” anywhere. 

Generally it precludes, for no immediately discernible reason, everything that lies outside of the visual physical body.  So without any reflection you might say that the personal “I” is the body. 

But is it? 

If you lose your legs, a kidney, or an eye, does this mean that you are not “you” anymore? 

And from what distance is your body “you”? 

If we zoom in on your body, we will stop seeing the skin, the boundary that we normally hold as the threshold between me and the rest of the world, and find instead bones, organs, liquids, etc.  

Zooming closer yet, there are microscopic organisms that keep the entire body working, and there are actually more of “them” than there are the human cells that you take to be “you”.

Zooming closer in, there are molecules, atoms and subatomic particles. 

And mostly space. 

99.9% of the content of an atom is space. 

Empty space. 

Are you still so sure that the body is “you”? Are you the cells? The DNA? The bacteria making up the microbiome? The subatomic particles which are absolutely indistinguishable from any other subatomic particles throughout the whole of the universe?

Maybe you think that the personal “I” is in the mind, but is it, really? 

Am I My Thoughts?

Maybe you think that the personal “I” is in the mind, but is it, really? 

Are you in control of your thoughts? Can you tell right now, what your next thought is going to be? Sit for a moment and wait for it.

And whatever thought does spontaneously arise, can you determine for how long it is going to stay in your mind?

If you have a thought that you don’t like, and would rather not return, can you actually keep it forever at bay, or does it keep coming back regardless of your wishes?

Are your thoughts even reliable? 

Do you remember what you did on the 3rd of April, 2012? When your childhood best friend’s birthday was? What color socks you’re wearing today?

You might say “I” am my mind, but are you really? 

Where are “you” then when you sleep? 

Are “you” the one sleeping or the one living in the dream? 

Are you both? 

At the same time? 

Are you sure?

The truth is “you” are not there.   

At all!

Not to be found anywhere. 

You are just a belief.

Simply another thought commenting on other thoughts. A nearly infinite regression of self-referential conceptualizations that harbor no self anywhere at all.  

What we take to be “me” is just a concept created to make sense of sensations. 

This is what materialism calls “the hard problem of consciousness”. 

It is the conundrum of “since I can’t find an “I” anywhere, it is still there, it has to be! I just can’t find it”. 

That is not a conundrum, but illogical nonsense! 

Why must we be so set in our beliefs that even when presented with absolutely no proof that the belief is correct, we still refuse to let it go?  

That exact notion was why a new religion “The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster” was founded in 2006.  

We can’t see a flying spaghetti monster. 

We can’t prove that there is a flying spaghetti monster.  

But since we can’t prove that there isn’t a flying spaghetti monster, it must be real. 

We might as well call that the “hard problem” of the flying spaghetti monster! 

Instead of convincing ourselves that something is true just because it makes us feel more comfortable than if it wasn’t, why don’t we just look, really look, to find out for ourselves whether this is true or not?  

What do we really know to be true? 

What do we really know to be untrue?

To find that, we need to differentiate between reality and fantasy. So let’s clear that up next. 

Is This Real?

We experience the world through our senses. 

The ears are hearing, the nose is smelling, the eyes are seeing, the mouth is tasting, the body is feeling, and the mind is doing all five of these things on a slightly more subtle, but still discernible level. 

That is reality.

However, when the mind is thinking, Selfing is likely happening. 

You will find that one thing is reality and another thing is fantasy. 

For now, we will say that all pure sensory experiences are reality (or at least as close to them as we can come, given the limitations of our biological sense organs, and the brain that is interpreting the electrical signals). 

All thinking and Selfing is fantasy. 

FetterWork is learning how to see the difference in all the areas of your life.  

If you look into it, you will quickly discover that all thoughts are always “about” something. 

That is the mind Selfing. 

When you are Selfing you are placing the “I” in the center of attention, and then you are twisting and turning expectations, assumptions, judgements, beliefs, conclusions, reckoning, guessing, hunches and speculations around, so that your Selfing is correct and everyone else’s is wrong. 

But remember: none of that is reality! 

It is just a belief or a collection of beliefs.

Selfing sees ourselves as separate from everything. 

Many of us go through our lives with a feeling that we are not enough, so we are constantly on a path of self-improvement. 

We are seeking for that one thing which can make the “I am not, I should be” mentality evaporate. 

But seeking will never result in finding. 

That is not the nature of seeking. 

The nature of the “I am not, I should be” mentality is to always believe something else is better than what is.

In its essence the “I am not, I should be” mentality will never be content.

The First Fetter releases those two hooks completely because the First Fetter dissolves the delusion of an “I”. 

However, and this cannot be emphasized enough: the FetterWork is conceptual! 

It is only a framework pointing in a direction.

It does not mean that it is real either. 

Do you see that?

If the sense of an “I” is a delusion, then working with dissolving that delusion is delusional in itself... it is a complete paradox! 

And the danger is that you will just exchange the concept of an “I” with a new concept of “No I”. 

In other words, you will now identify with not identifying! 

This is why a guide and a group is so important. If you are strolling along on a delusional path, it will not lead you anywhere productive. You need to become aware of the direction you are heading. 

Selfing, however, will not let you see that, but will keep you delusional for as long as possible, simply to maintain its power. 

So how do you go about that?

Well, you stop identifying! 

That’s it. 

With that said, we could all just move on. 

Let go and move on!

Nothing “real” is going to change, but when you let go of all the assumptions you have about you, about your opinions, your reality - everything will be different, even though fundamentally, nothing has changed. 

The only thing that has changed is that you no longer assume or identify. 

So let’s look recap about what reality and fantasy actually are. 

Everything you know to be true, ie. a sensory experience, we will now call reality. 

Everything you know not to be true, ie. thinking, is created by the mind, in the mind, about the mind, and we will now call this fantasy. 

Watch the lessons for the 1st Fetter, and keep coming back to this page to refresh on the basic concepts.

Reach out! 

Find a guide, join a group, and enjoy!!

Feel Into Reality. What Is Actually Here?

First Fetter Exercise

Sit with your eyes closed, and bring awareness to what you sense. Not what you feel emotionally, but what shows up in the raw sensory fields.


Bring awareness to your foot.
Can you feel where the sock ends and your foot begins?
Can you find the barrier between the two?
Do you experience a “dissolving” of the foot, so it feels like the foot and sock are one in the same?
Do you notice that it is now only a thought that is telling you that “my foot has a sock on it”, because in reality you can’t feel that it is so?

How much of what you experience is reality and how much is fantasy?

How do you know the difference?

Full playlist for the Identification Curriculum

“Wow. Where did they come from?
I was amazed to discover the incredible body of work offered by Pernille and Todd. All of it feels like a missing link which has been a game changer in my experience. Their Mind-Body Integration workshop was especially astonishing and mind blowing. My gratitude overflows.”

- Gabriela W.

Explore the 2nd Fetter.

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